Self-Help Is Like Masturbation

Georges van Hoegaerden
Georges van Hoegaerden
Founder, Author, and Managing Director of methodEVA.

You may be wondering why I focus a lot on psychology these days.

One reason is that my state of mind, related to a significant accident I recently incurred, has been threatened by the ghosting of a partner who, unannounced, chose to leave the scene. I relate to psychological analysis a little better these days.

But forget about me. More critical is the systemic dysfunction inherent to humanity’s constructs that cause severe and widespread psychological damage across America and copy-cultures worldwide.

The suicide rate among Americans is now at a 30-year high. Teenage girls influenced by social media commit suicide at 70% (compared to 25% for boys), with increased hospital admissions from non-fatal self-harm. Overall, 70% of Americans are chronically dependent on prescription drugs, the vast majority on anti-depressants. Forty-thousand, yes 40,000, Americans die each month due to obesity. Add to that a coddling culture equipped with a labyrinth of safe spaces and trigger words, making the next generation more sensitive and weaker than the previous. Welcome to American excellence.

The least costly remedy to that growing humanitarian problem is buying or listening to self-help books that undercut the professional assistance of experienced psychologists who understand relationships are relativity theories. Instead, many of us now absorb easy-peasy twelve-step plans for personal betterment from books we purchase on Amazon. A medium unable to question your causal role in the relationship that may have induced the conflict.

Masturbation, no matter how many times you perform that sexual act, will not improve your ability to be a great lover. Absorbing self-help scripts, no matter how ingenious, will not improve your ability to build mutually satisfying relationships. You must show up when it matters.

Let’s build better systems by using nature’s first-principles to align ourselves with what truly matters. And talk to each other in person to overcome the hurdles everyone will face in life at some point.

The sign of an intelligent nation is its willingness and ability to reinvent itself, upstream. Let’s inspire the world with new rigors of excellence we first and successfully apply to ourselves.

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